Funny how things can work out. And yes, this post is brutally honest. Again.
I love heading out for a run and meeting up with a running buddy. Luckily I've found plenty of running buddies in the past 12 months. Most of them through blogging. I've also found a supportive running group (and yes, I haven't been training with them a lot in the past couple of months, but that mainly has to do with the 50-miler training schedule that tells me intervals and speedwork are off for the time being).
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind running solo. Not at all. Most of my long runs are performed 'solo'. I like the peace and calm of heading out for a 20-miler - all by myself.
Running buddies = true gift
I might be a weirdo, but I treasure each and every running buddy I have. Running buddies are a true gift. At least in my opinion.
That's probably why losing one leaves me feeling sad and disappointed. And recently I did lose one. And I still don't understand why. That bugs the heck out of me.
Why? Well... We started training together a little over a year ago. Instant click. Fun, great training buddy. Registered for races together, raced those races together, did our long runs together, etcetera. Perfect running buddy.
Things I don't get
Fast forward to late last year. I got injured, running buddy got injured, so we didn't train together too often. Picked it up again this January. Paced running buddy to a new PR on the Half Marathon in mid-February. Good old fun again.
And then, after the pacing running buddy to a new PR thing, running buddy started cancelling running dates. One time, two times, and after that it didn't stop. Until running buddy reached a point where she wouldn't even want to schedule a 'new' running date anymore. Left me questioning myself. At one point I had even convinced myself that I must have been the worst running buddy ever for pushing her throughout that race to get that PR. But, quite honestly, I could not think of one thing I had done 'wrong'. And I'm the kind of girl that tends to blame everything on her little sad self. So, I had to dig deep to realize there truly wasn't a single thing I could have done wrong.
I'm the girl that's easy on giving second, third, fifth, tenth, 30th chances. I'm the girl that stays in touch no matter what. But at a certain point even I give up. After realizing that that running buddy wasn't injured/busy/pre-occupied, but still racing. Races we both registered for. Races where I ran into that running buddy at the start line. That's when I gave up. And I feel sad that I had to let go. I do.
Have you ever experienced the same thing? Any thoughts?