It's not me, it's you - The 'Does your mental state affect your running?' post

OK, I did not head out for yesterday's scheduled 6 miler. I decided to skip it. And I am not known for skipping runs (I do not like to skip a run!), so something must have been really off. And something was. Extremely off.

Ofcourse now you want to know what was wrong. Well, you shouldn't have asked, 'cause here you have it. The whole *beep*load of it. This is Negative Nancy a.k.a. Debbie Downer speaking. I apologize in advance...

Reasons why I did not run yesterday's 6 miler:

a. I felt emotionally and mentally drained, and I had very good reasons for feeling that way (and I'm not known for being a Negative Nancy, but yesterday I was - a Negative Nancy);

b. my lower legs were still feeling heavy and cramped up (and I have a race coming up this weekend).

Debbie Downer illustrates a., and why I felt emotionally and mentally drained
As for a.. On an almost daily basis I have to deal with someone that has the tendency to make people feel bad (very bad) about themselves. And he get's to me with this behavior. You know the type that manipulates you in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself (and it seems like this person is being nice and trying to help you, but actually he's just kicking you down...that's the manipulating part of it), solely to make him feel good (terrific) about himself? The type that's spreading lies, and justifies this by saying 'he's just trying to help you' and 'you're just too young to realize that you're a troubled little girl that needs help...immediately'? The manipulating person that seems nice on the outside, but is actually not a good person on the inside? That's the type I mean. And I have to deal with this person on an almost daily basis. Needless to say that I would prefer not to. I actually have no choice, at this point I really can't choose not to deal with this person. We all meet this person once, twice or several times in our lives, but that doesn't make it less crappy. Unfortunately.

Yesterday I tried to do something about it (the mature thing to do...Ugh...), and let's say it totally backfired on me. Apparently doing the right thing isn't the same as getting things solved. I guess I'm just too honest and not into playing games. I do not like playing games (well...unless it's a board game, ofcourse...). It left me feeling terrible and insecure. Mentally drained. I hate that feeling. And to make things worse, I really couldn't get myself to run the scheduled 6 miler. I felt too emotionally and mentally out of it to run. So, there you have it, for the first time in 9 months of running, my mental state got me to a point where I was just not capable to go out there and run. And I did not like that!

Luckily I have a great friend like Bunny who came over to keep me company, listened to my Negative Nancy talk, drank Limoncello with me and *drum rolls* brought me Brownies. She deserves a statue for bringing those brownies alone.

And today, I'm actually feeling a bit better. And I have to feel better, because I'm supposed to race a 10 miler on Sunday (well...race...marathon pace work out)! And that brings me to b..

b. or why I think that Redhead's Leg Gremlins moved into my legs
(Redhead: http://cautionredheadrunning.blogspot.com/)

For the last couple of days my lower legs have been feeling heavy, tired and all cramped up. Blah. Apparently adding extra miles to your marathon schedule will do that. Today, they're feeling better. For my lower legs, yesterday's unscheduled rest day wasn't that bad. An easy loop around the block tomorrow, and then I'll decide whether or not I'll race Sunday's 10 miler. If I'm not racing it, I will run it at marathon pace.

OK, say goodbye to Negative Nancy now and HELLO THERE to Positive Pauline (and Paul)!

Did you ever feel so mentally and emotionally drained that it affected your running?

Days left until the New York Marathon:


Emz said...

This post rocks.

"ever felt mentally and emotionally drained that it affected your running?....." you bet cha.

Without a doubt but usually there is someone [way more Debbie downer than me] who will say something stupid and or mean that motivates the crap outta me ---- then it's the best run ever.

weird. ;)

jamie@sweatyhugs said...

Be gone Debbie Downers! I'm happy to read that you are feeling better today. I've def. been there before. Sometimes it's even affected me for more than a day.

Silly Girl Running said...

@ Emz: Thanks! :) I know that feeling: when someone tells me 'you can't', I will run even faster. ;)

@ Jamie: More than one day? Ouch; I hope that that will never happen. I do not like this feeling! Glad I'm not the only one that has these days. :)

misszippy said...

Boo Debbie! You did the right thing by backing off and skipping the run. I know it leaves you feeling guilty, but look where you are today--all worth it!

Silly Girl Running said...

@ MissZippy: Thanks! Feeling a bit better already. Now let's see how that 10 miler goes. :)

Quinton J said...

Yeah...I've been known to take that day to get my mental game right. Then come out of my corner swinging. You're running NY? Damn you!

Becka said...

Good luck with your race this weekend! There have been times I have not done a run because of mood. Usually make it up, sometimes I don't. It's just one day. Negative people suck :( Stick to the happy and colorful ones!

50 days to go??? So soon???

Bethany + Ryan said...

good call on skipping the run. if you're not feeling it don't do it. Thats when bad things can happen to your body and those runs always suck anyways

Silly Girl Running said...

@ Q: Yep; 49 days left 'til NYCM. Freaking out already!

Silly Girl Running said...

@ Becka: Yay! You're back from your trip to Hawaii! :) 50 days? Soon? Yeah, so excited! Athens is in a little more than 40 days! Are you freaking out already? ;)

Silly Girl Running said...

@ Behthany + Ryan: You're right! I know it was a good call, but I felt like a quitter at that very moment.