Doubting myself has become a second nature to me in the last couple of weeks. Doubting my body. Doubting my diet. Doubting the training plan.
Doubting the hillwork.
The weird bone scan thing a couple of weeks back was hard - mentally. Then again, while waiting for the sports doc to figure out what to do, I did end up with a new love for cycling. And jumped right into that cycling thing - I made some serious miles on Trixie. :)
I've spent hours and hours and hours on the treadmill set at 15% incline in the last couple of months. And learned to appreciate the burning quads.
I loved running 3 marathons this Spring. Loved every minute of it. My body loved every minute of it. Or, I'd like to believe it did. ;) Got 20 minutes off my marathon PR by the third marathon. And could not have been happier.
I've changed my diet. Vitamins: up. Sugar and greasy food: down.
50 miles with an 8,000 ft elevation profile isn't exactly what I'd call a walk in the park (then again, I'm very well aware of the fact that this race is nothing more than a training run for most runners - but it's quite a big deal to me). The same goes for a marathon with a 7,000 ft elevation profile. I'm still not sure which distance I'll pick - time (or the next 2 1/2 weeks) will tell. Fingers crossed that I'll at least be able to participate in one of these babies.
And I do understand that mileage and hillwork in training are the only thing that will get you to that finish line. Unless you're a natural at this mountain marathon thing. And I'm not. I'm one of those people that has to work hard to get there. Very hard. And now I'm worried that 49 - 60 miles (78-100 km) a week with long runs of up to 31 miles/50 km won't be enough.
Doubt is a nasty little bugger. And it - no doubt - did squeeze itself under my skin. How the heck will I get it to move out... ASAP?
Trust your body.
Trust your diet.
Trust the training plan.
I might have to repeat this one to myself...a million times... I'm getting there - eventually. Just don't expect me to do so overnight.