Doubt - the 'I've got you under my skin' post


Doubting myself has become a second nature to me in the last couple of weeks. Doubting my body. Doubting my diet. Doubting the training plan.

Doubting the hillwork.

The weird bone scan thing a couple of weeks back was hard - mentally. Then again, while waiting for the sports doc to figure out what to do, I did end up with a new love for cycling. And jumped right into that cycling thing - I made some serious miles on Trixie. :)

I've spent hours and hours and hours on the treadmill set at 15% incline in the last couple of months. And learned to appreciate the burning quads.

I loved running 3 marathons this Spring. Loved every minute of it. My body loved every minute of it. Or, I'd like to believe it did. ;) Got 20 minutes off my marathon PR by the third marathon. And could not have been happier.

I've changed my diet. Vitamins: up. Sugar and greasy food: down.


50 miles with an 8,000 ft elevation profile isn't exactly what I'd call a walk in the park (then again, I'm very well aware of the fact that this race is nothing more than a training run for most runners - but it's quite a big deal to me). The same goes for a marathon with a 7,000 ft elevation profile. I'm still not sure which distance I'll pick - time (or the next 2 1/2 weeks) will tell. Fingers crossed that I'll at least be able to participate in one of these babies.

And I do understand that mileage and hillwork in training are the only thing that will get you to that finish line. Unless you're a natural at this mountain marathon thing. And I'm not. I'm one of those people that has to work hard to get there. Very hard. And now I'm worried that 49 - 60 miles (78-100 km) a week with long runs of up to 31 miles/50 km won't be enough.


Doubt is a nasty little bugger. And it - no doubt - did squeeze itself under my skin. How the heck will I get it to move out... ASAP?


Trust your body.

Trust your diet.

Trust the training plan.

I might have to repeat this one to myself...a million times... I'm getting there - eventually. Just don't expect me to do so overnight.


misszippy said...

You're only human, and a running human at that! Keep trusting yourself and drive that trust way down into your subconscious!

Barborkas said...

As said by misszippy - we are only humans - running humans. You'll need to be repeating the trust mantra over and over again in order to get it really deep. It can be very tough, but remember those times when you have absolutely no doubt and you trust your body, diet, training plan, the most important you trust yourself ... remember that time with 3 marathons at the beginning of the season? Pretty awesome? You'll get back there and you'll be even stronger than before! But it always takes some time.

Becka said...

Don't doubt yourself. You are awesome!!

Kadie said...

You know what you are doing. Trust yourself. You...Got...This!!!

Kevin @ Half TRI-ing said...

When is Trixie going to make it into a race? She is starting to get jealous of our running shoes.

BTW - I am really excited. I actually made it onto your "Blogs I Read" section. :-)